Sometimes I have to take a step back and remember I don't know you that well. Sometimes you can be insensitive, other times a sweetheart. Then sometimes I can be jerk, treating you badly. I realized that all of those years of denial everyone was right about me. I am scared. I am terrified. Opening up those familiar feelings also brings back all the hurt and pain that came along with it. I guess coming into this all over again it begins once more. All those insecurities that were there before are still here. Because I am still fairly new at this it is still scary to think someone can say all those nice things and then take them back. Pretend like they never existed. To say they disappeared. Sad to say is when I get attached I get attached because I care about the person but either I pretend that I don't and push away or just pretend like it was nothing. Maybe I am scared of just being friends first, of slowing things down knowing if you knew everything you wouldn't like me anymore and it would be either to leave. And I don't want that. I'm afraid like all the rest you won't wait. But then again if you think I am not worth waiting for, you don't have to wait. It is easier said than done, once I've grown attached its hard to go backwards when all you wanna do is go forward. But my daddy has a point the faster you fall the bigger the hurt. I'm learning.<3.
xoxo,
