Writer.

I would not call myself a writer, far from it. I like to write though. In my Spanish class today I was asked to write a self portrait of myself no not a biography, to write about something that claims my identity. I could either write about a moment in my life that changed me, a mix of two cultures, or two personalities. I have two personalities. One I let out through writing. She is more vocal, more out there, not afraid to write the truth or how it is. She will admit to herself that she is afraid, insecure, and maybe sometimes really doubtful. But she always pulls through. She gives the other one strength. Yet, the other one is quiet, soft spoken and when she wants to speak tears come out instead. She wants to speak she wants to let the writer one out in the open but, I won't let her. Why? Because I am a afraid. But she is not she is brave. Why won't I let her out? Because she serves a purpose in blogs to write the words and cannot say, to rationalize everything before I jump without looking. Yup, she's that kind of crazy. Dragging the world behind her with one hand, first jumping then looking. Not me, I have to stop her. But sometimes I want to let her free, to see the destruction she will have. She has a lot of heart, and voice. Mine in comparison stutters and looks down. she comes out sometimes with my friends, and sometimes I let her stay behind the curtain. What if I set her free? Let her roam for while? What is the trouble she will cause. So much I suppose. But yet, like Jose Luis Borges sometimes they get blurred and meshed into one not knowing which is which. Unlike Beyonce who pops up her alter ego Sasha Fierce.  So little one only when you are angry do you appear, in my writings you appear. I wonder if anyone reads this blog. Can you tell the difference between my personalities??
                                                                       xoxo,
                                                                        bEe