Stop.Give me a sec. kay? Overall I hear states of disillusionment around me, surprised? I guess not. The adult world comes with freedom, liberty, and the ever constant pressures of responsibilities that was not your worry when you were a kid. However, when one takes the leap into the adult world sometimes we bite more than we could chew. How is this you say? You are dealing with family, your bills, your family's family, eviction and trying to keep it together. The pressures for a man to take responsibility to run the household is what society has created for generations in history, I would feel the pressure if its what society has out on me as well. To contrast though, I cannot feel obliged to be able to help as well, though mommy tells the little ones its not your concern how can you help it? how can you watch your family deal with some many pressures of just BARELY getting by and you there being able to do nothing? Is it fair you say? Of course not. But when is life ever fair. Contemplations. Mother's job to keep her family together, she's the fighter who will dig her nails in the ground to make sure her child is missing NOTHING, even if she herself will starve her ambitions be grinned to the ground to her its an act of love and nothing more. As I step into this adult shoes feeling them much to big, as i walk they slip off and I struggle to keep them on. So what if I do something I love, but doesn't support me, what if I do something I hate but it supports my family, what if I have to beg, steal and cheat to keep your family well and together? Is it wrong? most likely. But were they doing to survive? with out a doubt. Is there a right answer? you tell me. Will you yourself sacrifice your happiness like your parents did for you? Will you redden them as you wish? Does the cycle ever end? Who knows. I only know what I am seeing. I write it down for clarity, for sanity, for release. Give me strength. or better yet answers..
xoxo,
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