Thursday, January 26, 2012

New beginnings.

 So here I am all alone now. This transition was more difficult that I could have imagined. I miss my family, like no other. Everyone here is of course sweet. But it's not my home. It's not my comfort zone. People tell me it would take time..I guess some are easier than others. And just when you think you have it all you are taken aback a few steps, when my sis did not want to talk to me because she thought I abandoned her. It crushed me, more than that it broke me. Sure she doesn't understand but it doesn't matter it still hurts for someone to think that you abandoned them. I love her to death. So here I go into this world and I hope I don't fall. Quoting B.O.B. "It was dream, just a moment, I was up so high, looking at the sky, don't let me fall." It seemed so far away now I'm here chasing after this ludicrous dream. To prove I belong here. But I do. I was made for this. What does not kill me makes me stronger. And even though it's hard and I might want to give, I know  I have people looking out for me. Keep me grounded.
Mantra for this week: Kelly Clarkson's Stronger
                                                                                                           xoxo,
                                                                                                            bumble bee

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New beginnings.

I guess it's an understatement to say I am nervous. To say that I am scared. To say I really feel like I might pee my pants. I might pee and shit at the same time. Yeah it's that bad. I am just nervous to be thrust into a world I have no control over. I am scared to see what will happen. To be left alone. I'm not really good at communication skills, but I guess its like my coworker said to me, "you have to get out of your bubble". And out I go. I guess writing does help reveal all this stress. I'm just worried, so many payments, so little time. I just don't know who to turn or where to turn to. Ahhh. I just need to ask for help. Help. Help. Help. I guess that did not work. Lol. Now to step two. Calling the school for help. Here I go wish me luck.
                                                                      xoxo,
                                                                     bee